Random thoughts on parenting

I seldom talk about parenting and at first I thought this is where I could share my experience on the topic. It is just that when I have difficulties in parenting, I would be too busy concentrating on my baby. I will not feel like sharing anything when I have problems and I am the kind of person who likes to solve my problem fast. Anything else can wait.

Zara used to be a quiet baby. She is so fascinated by everything and she will keep the thought to herself. She is an observer more than she is a doer and she sleeps a lot too. She does have her moments laughing and she loves to be tickled but it all depends on her mood. If she doesn’t feel like doing it, then forget about making her doing it. She is such an easy baby to handle. Not much crying at night, accept for merengek sound she make when she is hungry for mommy’s milk. She seldom fusses too. We thank god for that.

Everything changes quite drastically after she turns 1 year old. She is now a toddler learning to walk. She is able to express her feelings. She is using sign language and sounds to show us what she wants. She knows she is her own person and she can ask for what she want and say no to anything she does not like. It came as a shock to me because she is not a fussy baby. I found myself getting angry at her for not following my request even after I explain everything to her. I know she is frustrated too because she can’t convey what she really wants and I can see this by looking at her reaction whenever I ask what is wrong and what is it that she wants me to do. This is the difficult time in toddlerhood.  Around 1 to 1 and a half year, they are more independent and mobile but did not master the language yet. It is a big barrier and we as parents must be the better person. I talk to some of the mothers I knew and they said just be patient and try to teach the toddler a sign language. Try to give reasons and options to them and pray that they will understand. If that fails, distraction is a good way to move on from the current situation.

For example, we are at Starbucks and my girl is all excited that she can walk around by herself now and explore the cafe. She went from table to table to say hi to everyone. When we try to carry her and put her on our lap she will immediately scream and try to let herself loose. We have no choice so one of us need to follow her around so that she won’t disturb others or spills their coffee. My girl went on to the souvenir section and she pointed to the teddy bears. The teddy bear is too darn expensive and we already have a bunch of them at home. What we did was teach her to say hello to the teddy and let her hold on to it for a few moments. When it is time to leave, we ask her to put the teddy where it belongs and say good bye. I got this tips from a friend and thank god it was working at that time. In some other place like in Jusco, we had to wait for about 20 minutes just to let my girl cuddle the jusco teddy before she is willing to let the teddy go. Another good advice is to avoid the toy section altogether :p hehe..

Budak nakal :p

I can definitely say that I am more patient with my lil girl now. I try to see things from her perspective instead of mine. I am more compassionate and calm now that I know how to handle things. Of course, some days all the above does not work and all you have to do is pray and just keep on trying. As parents, it is our responsibility to love and care for our children and we have to understand their feelings and needs too. We just need to open our heart and mind to accept any challenges ahead. Along the way, don’t forget to have fun too😉

Hubby and I are learning to be good parents and apart from that, we learn new things or two from our darling Zara. The biggest lesson so far is to be patient and calm and try to think outside the box when it came to handling our active toddler :p

14 thoughts on “Random thoughts on parenting

  1. Parenting is not easy, I tried to get new ideas from reading parenting books as well as the book titled ‘Children are from Heaven’. It seems that children or our babies just want to be loved…and the book says that they don’t know how to love themself (I was shocked reading this, I didn’t know that), unless we show them that they should love themself. Now I know better…

  2. Dinna,
    terpaksa la jd kreatip hehe.. zara is much better now since dah boleh berckp sikit2

    Pet,
    Yes, I agree with you. We need to always find ways to increase our knowledge on parenting. I always see my girl as a small baby that need to be loved unconditionally. Always let her know that we love her🙂

  3. eham pun same.. dah start ade tantrum sendiri.. bile tau ibu n ayah x bg something that he wants, dia akan mengamuk.. but true, little by little aku try to be a little bit more patient dgn dia.. sometimes it’s hard gak sbb aku ni garang orgnye..😉 n’ways, aku pun cam dinna, suke care kau ajar zara psl teddy tu.. luckily eham mmg truly boy, x suke teddy😉 teddy pd zara umpama balls pd eham.. he just loves balls..😉

  4. Wah.. perangai nak jalan-jalan sesuka hati dia tu sama dengan Tina.. aduhai..tak leh nak dok diam..kekadang hilang jugak sabar tengok kelakuan dia…

    Ramai parents alami menda2 ni..yeah..I totally agree with you. This is the hard toddlers time. Cakap..tak faham.. nak apa.. pun tak tau..aduh…

  5. ajue,
    tu la kan. this kids are teaching us something valuable each day.🙂 Sure cute je Eham tendang bola hehehhe

    yuda,
    eh toksah takut la. i know u can handle it. super mommy kan hehe.. when the time comes, you will know what to do. sabar je banyak2 hehe

    sha,
    tu la, ikut suka je nak jalan2. sometime pegang tgn pon takmo :p dah besar sgt la tu kononnya hehe. time toddler ni mmg mencabar sungguh kan. hehe

  6. nette, aku suka entry ini. aku sejak dua menjak nih, makin tak sabar lah ngan afra. tangan dan mulut aku ringan sangatlah. aku tatau la sebab cuaca yang panas ke ape. aku memang agak moody bila panas, who isn’t? hehe. tapi one thing for sure, afra dah mula ada and shows his tantrums. yeah, he got it this time. aku masih lagi belajar nak mengawal perasaan dan keadaan. tapi rasa susah sangat. bila dipujuk makin menjadi. then mulalah aku nak jerit, and kadang2 ter slip tangan hinggap kat dia. pehtu mula lah aku nangis nyesal. help me nette. aku tak mo jadi mak yang garang, sebab aku tau hasilnya nanti camne.

    • Caza dear, susah nak ckp kan kalau dah marah. The most important thing kena tahan sabar huhu. Bila marah tu mula meluap2 try igt balik penat lelah mengandungkan anak n jaga anak since baby and how much we love them! Aku kalau tgh angin sgt aku lari gi buat benda lain dulu. Mcm ko, takut tangan hinggap kat badan dia huhu :p

  7. Good entry! One that I can totally relate on. I’ve been using the same reverse psychology approach towards my toddler and I must say that it is slowly working.. =) It needs more time to eliminate those tantrums altogether though, but I’m thrilled that it works!.. will definitely write an entry about my approaches along the way. could i link ur entry as well?

    • Lina dear,
      Good to hear that your reverse psychology method is working! I guess the most important thing is to be patient with them🙂 Looking forward to your next entry and feel free to link me ok. I will add yours to my list as well🙂

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