I seldom talk about parenting and at first I thought this is where I could share my experience on the topic. It is just that when I have difficulties in parenting, I would be too busy concentrating on my baby. I will not feel like sharing anything when I have problems and I am the kind of person who likes to solve my problem fast. Anything else can wait.
Zara used to be a quiet baby. She is so fascinated by everything and she will keep the thought to herself. She is an observer more than she is a doer and she sleeps a lot too. She does have her moments laughing and she loves to be tickled but it all depends on her mood. If she doesn’t feel like doing it, then forget about making her doing it. She is such an easy baby to handle. Not much crying at night, accept for merengek sound she make when she is hungry for mommy’s milk. She seldom fusses too. We thank god for that.
Everything changes quite drastically after she turns 1 year old. She is now a toddler learning to walk. She is able to express her feelings. She is using sign language and sounds to show us what she wants. She knows she is her own person and she can ask for what she want and say no to anything she does not like. It came as a shock to me because she is not a fussy baby. I found myself getting angry at her for not following my request even after I explain everything to her. I know she is frustrated too because she can’t convey what she really wants and I can see this by looking at her reaction whenever I ask what is wrong and what is it that she wants me to do. This is the difficult time in toddlerhood. Around 1 to 1 and a half year, they are more independent and mobile but did not master the language yet. It is a big barrier and we as parents must be the better person. I talk to some of the mothers I knew and they said just be patient and try to teach the toddler a sign language. Try to give reasons and options to them and pray that they will understand. If that fails, distraction is a good way to move on from the current situation.
For example, we are at Starbucks and my girl is all excited that she can walk around by herself now and explore the cafe. She went from table to table to say hi to everyone. When we try to carry her and put her on our lap she will immediately scream and try to let herself loose. We have no choice so one of us need to follow her around so that she won’t disturb others or spills their coffee. My girl went on to the souvenir section and she pointed to the teddy bears. The teddy bear is too darn expensive and we already have a bunch of them at home. What we did was teach her to say hello to the teddy and let her hold on to it for a few moments. When it is time to leave, we ask her to put the teddy where it belongs and say good bye. I got this tips from a friend and thank god it was working at that time. In some other place like in Jusco, we had to wait for about 20 minutes just to let my girl cuddle the jusco teddy before she is willing to let the teddy go. Another good advice is to avoid the toy section altogether :p hehe..
I can definitely say that I am more patient with my lil girl now. I try to see things from her perspective instead of mine. I am more compassionate and calm now that I know how to handle things. Of course, some days all the above does not work and all you have to do is pray and just keep on trying. As parents, it is our responsibility to love and care for our children and we have to understand their feelings and needs too. We just need to open our heart and mind to accept any challenges ahead. Along the way, don’t forget to have fun too 😉
Hubby and I are learning to be good parents and apart from that, we learn new things or two from our darling Zara. The biggest lesson so far is to be patient and calm and try to think outside the box when it came to handling our active toddler :p